Last week I wrote about the five things that Napalm Death and The Pussycat Dolls have in common. This was because everyone I had ever spoken to about either act always got the two of them muddled up. By listing their similarities, people could know what to avoid when conversation turned to one of these two artists in order to prevent confusion. At the conclusion of that post I promised I'd write about any differences between them, if I could find any.
The pair's debut albums, PCD and Scum.
You may be surprised to find out that there are actually at least 100 differences between the two acts. If you are scratching your head and trying to figure out just what those differences may be, worry not for I have scoured books, videos, articles, newspapers, websites and Wikipedia to unearth the hidden divisions between Napalm Death and The Pussycat Dolls.
Just to clarify, when I write "Napalm Death have never done XYZ" assume that Pussycat Dolls have done XYZ and vice versa.
If you can think of any more, or you believe I have quoted an incorrect fact then please add a comment below.
Let's do this:
1. Nobody in The Pussycat Dolls is called Shane.
2. No Napalm Death member has ever dated a Formula 1 driver.
3. The Pussycat Dolls have never had anyone doing sign language in the corner of one of their videos.
4. Carmen Electra is not a former member of Napalm Death.
5. The Pussycat Dolls have never headlined the third stage at Download.
6. Nobody from Napalm Death has their own cosmetics range.
7. The Pussycat Dolls have never covered the Dead Kennedys' classic 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'.
8. Napalm Death have never had a member appear in an Aaron Carter video.
9. The Pussycat Dolls have never featured any human skulls on their album covers.
10. Napalm Death have never had a reality TV show to find a new member.
11. The Pussycat Dolls have never recorded a split EP with US hardcore band Converge.
12. Napalm Death have never won an award for "Best Mobile Phone Ringtone".
13. The Pussycat Dolls have never featured the Welsh town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in any of their recordings.
14. Napalm Death have never been a support act for Christina Aguilera.
15. The Pussycat Dolls have never had a gig cancelled due to a fear that their noise would destroy the venue.
16. Enrique Iglesias has yet to perform with anyone from Napalm Death.
17. The Pussycat Dolls never recorded a session with John Peel.
18. Nobody from Napalm Death has ever performed at Wrestlemania.
19. The current line-up of The Pussycat Dolls does not contain any media teachers.
20. Napalm Death have never played the Honda Civic tour.
21. The Pussycat Dolls have never had a total Death Metal fan from north Wales called Wynn speak at the end of one of their songs.
22. Napalm Death did not feature on the soundtrack to Shark Tale.
23. The Pussycat Dolls have not openly supported the Occupy movement as a whole band.
24. Napalm Death have never had a top-5 album in Canada.
25. Nobody from The Pussycat Dolls has ever been interviewed by FourFourTwo magazine.
26. Napalm Death have yet to be joined on stage by anyone from the TV show Real Housewives of Orange County.
27. There are no members of The Pussycat Dolls who got their nickname from The Flintstones.
28. At the time of writing, Napalm Death have not featured in an advert for web hosting company GoDaddy.
29. The Pussycat Dolls have never appeared on the cover of Terrorizer magazine.
30. Napalm Death have not openly paid tribute to Gloria Gaynor in any of their videos.
31. The Pussycat Dolls have never performed live in an episode of Skins.
32. Napalm Death's concert promoters have never been fined for sexually suggestive dance moves performed on stage by the band.
33. No lead singer for The Pussycat Dolls has ever sang with Extreme Noise Terror.
34. No member of Napalm Death has ever been a contestent on I'm A Celebrity...
35. The Pussycat Dolls have not released an album where every song was written by someone in the group.
36. Napalm Death have never been in a Pink! video.
37. No founding members of The Pussycat Dolls now run a Yoga school in Denmark.
38. Napalm Death have never been nominated for a BRIT Award.
39. The Pussycat Dolls have never released a VHS.
40. There is no Napalm Death workout DVD (or VHS).
41. The Pussycat Dolls have never performed in Nepal.
42. Listeners were not specifially encouraged to disobey the predominant mantra of a Napalm Death song in Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip's hit 'Thou Shalt Always Kill'.
43. The Pussycat Dolls have never released a full studio album under 30 minutes.
44. Napalm Death have never released a full studio album over 60 minutes.
45. There is no evidence of The Pussycat Dolls playing in Spain in 1990.
46. Nobody from Napalm Death has ever been a judge on The X-Factor.
47. The Pussycat Dolls never performed live on TFI Friday.
48. At present, nobody from The Pussycat Dolls has joined Dream Theatre on stage.
49. The Pussycat Dolls did not have a saxophone on their most recent album.
50. Napalm Death have never played T4 On The Beach.
We're halfway there. Time for a break.
51. The Pussycat Dolls do not have a song shorter than 2 seconds.
52. Lady Gaga has never been the support act for Napalm Death.
53. The Kerrang! Awards have never given a prize to The Pussycat Dolls.
54. Napalm Death do not have a casino named+themed after them.
55. Nobody in The Pussycat Dolls has a bald patch on their head.
56. None of Napalm Death's parents allgedly drummed for The Mamas & the Papas.
57. The Pussycat Dolls have never showcased the Welsh language on one of their releases.
58. Nobody from Napalm Death has ever played Radio 1's Big Weekend.
59. The Pussycat Dolls have never played a gig in Romford.
60. Napalm Death have never appeared at an event wearing Saris.
61. Manchester United Goalkeeper David De Gea has not requested any Pussycat Dolls to be played in the dressing room before matches.
62. Napalm Death have never had a number 1 hit in Belgium.
63. No members of The Pussycat Dolls have ever been touring members of industrial black metal band Anaal Nathrakh.
64. There has never been a line of Napalm Death lingerie.
65. The Pussycat Dolls have never collaborated with the eccentric US band The Melvins.
66. Rihanna has never opened for Napalm Death.
67. The Pussycat Dolls did not play their first gig at a miners club.
68. Missy Elliot has never rapped on a Napalm Death single.
69. No members of The Pussycat Dolls have ever had their work featured at The Tate Britain.
70. There are no members of Napalm Death that regularly feature on Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway.
71. The Pussycat Dolls have never released an entire album of covers.
72. Napalm Death have never sampled Electric Light Orchestra.
73. The Pussycat Dolls have never recorded an album in Kettering.
74. Napalm Death have not sold more records worldwide than Atomic Kitten or All Saints.
75. The Pussycat Dolls have not recorded 15 studio albums.
76. No members of Napalm Death have ever won a series of Popstars.
77. There are no Pussycat Dolls songs that feature the words 'inducements', 'virgin' and 'abstinence.'
78. There have not been any members of Napalm Death in the cheerleading squad for the NBA team Miami Heat.
79. There have been no Pussycat Dolls songs given away with the free CD in Kerrang Magazine.
80. Napalm Death did not perform at any of the Live Earth concerts in 2007.
81. The Pussycat Dolls have never recorded a song about the Bhopal disaster.
82. There have never been plans for a set of Napalm Death dolls aimed at 6-9 year olds.
83. The Pussycat Dolls did not originate in Birmingham.
84. Californication star Meagan Good did not perform with Napalm Death at her bachelorette party.
85. The Pussycat Dolls have never been sampled by Alec Empire.
86. Napalm Death have never been a burlesque troupe.
87. Nobody in the Pussycat Dolls has ever met Andy Vale.
88. A "nip-slip" is not a newsworthy item if it occurrs to a member of Napalm Death.
89. The Pussycat Dolls have never played the same song 30 times in one gig.
90. Napalm Death are not on the same record label as Ronan Keating.
91. The Pussycat Dolls are not on the same record label as Destiny Potato.
92. Nobody in Napalm Death was offered a spot in The Black Eyed Peas.
93. None of the Pussycat Dolls are regulars at Villa Park.
94. There are no surviving records that suggest Fern Britton has ever interviewed Napalm Death.
95. The Pussycat Dolls have yet to record any Death Metal OR Grindcore songs.
96. Napalm Death have never shared a stage with Kelly Osbourne.
97. No Turner Prize nominee has specified The Pussycat Dolls as a major influence.
98. The film Men In Black 3 does not have anybody from Napalm Death appear on screen at any time.
99. There has never been a four-song Saxophone medley of whole Pussycat Dolls songs that lasted less than 16 seconds.
100. Perez Hilton has never appeared in a Napalm Death video (we lied in the last article, that was a bad thing to do.)
I hope your intellectual discourse about both bands is now far more constructive and fruitful.
BONUS: In the research for this piece I have found three further things that Napalm Death & The Pussycat Dolls have in common:
- They have both had tours called "The World Domination Tour".
- Both groups have had members break a rib on stage.
- Both groups have featured the word 'supermarket' in one of their songs.
An hour ago I knew more about both of these acts combined than anyone else on the planet. I have now shared this knowledge with you, feel free to share it with the world.
Andy is a Supajam writer who has been a small-fry at numerous Commerical, BBC and Student radio stations over the last 6 years. He is also a music promoter in the South-East of the UK. He has a website where he interviews musicians with only one question, and he is currently typing in third-person. You can tweet abuse at him if you fancy letting off some steam.