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Music Blogs

Chart predictions for the week- what we reckon...

  • By MisterCharlie Author Avatar
  • 12 November 2012

OK, well, first of all, last week I got one thing right (Barack Obama got elected- duh) and pretty much everything else wrong. Way to go Team Me. I hadn’t realised just how much the nation loves Robbie Williams’ wearing Butlins Red Coat schtick, but here we are, with the Take That boy-man and his humdrum crap dominating the single and album charts once again. I predict that this week will see a bunch of pronouncements from Robbie about how rubbish other artists are, and how great he is. Looking forward to that.

Crystal Castles didn’t get anywhere near the charts (although the album was delayed, and I think they’ll hit them this week) and Aerosmith did, so wrong again me. Luckily I only bet my already tattered reputation on this, cos I couldn’t afford to lose the cash….  

Anyway, this week I see we have albums from Green Day, Stooshe, One Direction and the Lana Del Rey Born To Die deluxe edition. So this time, I’m fairly sure that the grimacing puppets of 1D will sweep all before them in a rampaging chart bloodlust. Look at them hack and slash their way to the top, tiny fangs bared, hollow eyes staring lifelessly from their demonic skulls. Brrrrrr. As for me, I can’t name a single one of their songs, and I plan to keep it that way. 'Sassy' girl band Stooshe are being pushed massively, so the album should pick up some sales, even if their cover of Waterfalls sounds like an office karaoke party in Croydon. More credibly, Green Day come with Dos, the second part of their Uno Dos Tres trilogy. Uno was a bit of a damp squib, but Billie Joe’s trip to rehab may have given them the press exposure they need to shift a few units, probably not more than Del Rey will have with the deluxe edition of Born to Die though, so my order of chart placings next week is gonna go:

One Direction

Stooshe

Lana Del Rey

Green Day

Watch me be a million miles off again.

 In other news, we’ll probably see the BBC beat itself to whimpering smithereens all week over the non-stop national paedo hunt. I’ve no idea why they are getting all the flack whilst Philip Schofield can happily flash highly libellous names to camera, but there you go. I also don’t understand why Robbie Williams is number one in the Hit Parade, I think I’m just perpetually confused. The public appetite for NonceGate is unlikely to abate, so let’s look forward to more wild speculation and creepily salacious Daily Mail stories. England; a strange place to be right now.

Worldwide I predict that all ther Americans who promised to move to Australia should Obama get re-elected will, as one, fail to pack their bags. I'm sure Australia is counting it's losses as I type.... 

 

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