*This was selected as one of Supajam's best bits of 2013, either by being the most read, specially chosen by our staff, or nominated by our readers. Click here to see more of our highlights from 2013.*
1) Extreme greed for wealth or personal gain.
2) One of at least 12 acts who will probably never make it because they all have the same name.
What's the first thing you do when you think of your new band name?
- Stick it on all of your merchandise and name your cat after it.
- Tattoo one letter of it onto each band member's back.
- Be perfectly happy with it and carry on as usual.
NO! You do none of those things.
The first thing you do is you check if some other band or artist already has that name. There are potential legal reasons for this, but also it makes it easier for people to find you. Also, you may find yourself embroiled in a situation like this...
One of the things I do is I host a local music show on a nearby commercial station. Part of my preparation for this is to check the local gig listings for some concerts that my listeners might be interested in. I then check out the bands on the bill to see if there's some music I can play on the show. One gig had a band called Avarice on the bill, so I then tried to find Avarice to see what they sound like...
There were at least 12 different bands/musicians called Avarice.
That means that at least 11 bands called Avarice didn't stop to wonder if there were any other bands with the same name.
I got in a royal funk over this. It made me so unhappy and I couldn't work out why. Maybe it's because they hadn't thought very hard about the name? Perhaps it's because it isn't an overwhelmingly good name, yet at least 12 people thought it was worth risking everything on. I don't know. I didn't bother trying to find the Avarice who were playing near me, they didn't deserve my time and I was an angry man.
But today is a new day and I am a man of action. I can't stand by and watch this happen, I need to help.
So I'm going to dive in and check out every single band I can find called Avarice, we shall find the true Avarice.
The winner is allowed to keep the name, the others must all change name or I'm going to tell on them.
Avarice 1 - First up is "an unsigned Metal-Punk band from the GTA". Glad that there's some Punk there, I assumed it would mostly be pure Metal. First track I found has a very Metal opening though, but it's decent and new, so at least they're active. A mix of intense bellows and NOFX style vocals. I should point out that I'm only listening to one track by each band, because life is short.
Avarice 2 - This one is a 'Deathcore' band from San Diego. The top post on their wall is one that says "I miss u gays :c". Does that mean they've split up? I don't know. They have one track on their page called 'Hatchet'. It's heavier than the last one, but it has "Death" and "Core" in its genre description so that's sort of a given.
Avarice 3 - These guys are "4 average idiots that learned some musical skills along the way." They're also a metal band. I couldn't find any music on their page, but they did have a nice picture.
Orange tents are so Metal.
Avarice 4 - A two-piece Rock/Metal project. Project, not a band. This usually means there is no drummer. A quick check suggests I'm right. They aim to create tracks that are musically interesting and melodically satisfying. Credit where it's due, the song I heard featured music that interested me and I was satisfied by the melody.
Avarice 5 - YES! We have a DJ. I said there would be a DJ. But what's this? A post saying that he's changing his name to one that is unique to him. He is now known as Stranger Candy and has double the fans. I also can't find any other acts called Stranger Candy, so well done to him.
Avarice 6 - Here's a three-piece metal band from Wales, which often means they sound like they're from California. They look quite young, so changing their name shouldn't be a problem. In fact, I would recommend everyone here changes their name... that's sort of the point. They have a song called Marmite and their sound is often more Punk than Metal, but I can tell that they're trying.
"You make me feel so sick, you are fucking shit!" Lyrical gold. Oh man, there's more.
"When you least expect it, we're gonna fuck your face off!"
Sweet Moses. At least it got my attention, I don't remember anyone else's lyrics so points to them for that.
Avarice 7 - Up next is a Dubstep producer from Dakota who lists his favourite band as ICP. I wonder if he's been to The Gathering Of The Juggalos? I'm not an ICP fan, but I'd love to go to the gathering sometime. It always has an amazing wrestling line-up, which is something that Glastonbury is sorely lacking. Check it out:
Onto Avarice 7's music, it's basic Wub-Wub stuff and he admits that he's new to it. At least he's trying. I wouldn't call a track E.V.I.L. though, unless it had dead Polar Bears terrorising children.
Avarice 8 - Wow. First thing I see is them declaring themselves to be "PROUD MEMBERS OF THE MIGHTY GANGABANG"
Okay! I couldn't find any of their music. It's probably there, but I only looked for about 15 seconds. If I can't find your music in less than 15 seconds then it's your fault. I did spend about a minute trying to find out what the MIGHTY GANGABANG was... and if I could get a membership form... for a friend.
Avarice 9 - These guys look like a Def Leppard cover band. They're not, but they have that 80s Rock vibe going on. They seem to play a load of gigs and have a massive banner to hang up on stage, but they don't have any music posted up. I'm heartened to see a band with their priorities in the right place.
Avarice 10 - This looks like a Metal covers band. No music for me to listen to and they only have 11 fans. This is even more special when you consider that they have 10 posts. Assuming that the dude who created it is one of those fans, that potentially means that each post has gained one fan.
Avarice 11 - An acoustic Indie-Folk band, which is a nice change. There's a post from almost exactly a year ago saying that they are working on new material and will be back soon. I'm expecting them any minute now.
Avarice 12 - There's an out of tune and feedback-y live cover in a basement of Iron Maiden - The Trooper. They forget half of the words too. I do this in my shower nearly every day. They look fun, if talentless. I think I get these guys.
Oh man, there's more. Once upon a time I didn't even think there were more than 12 bands on the planet, now I'm listening to over 12 with the same name in two hours.
Avarice 13 - Imagine living in a world where you were about to listen to your tenth Metal band with the same name in one day. It's not as fun as it sounds.
Anyway, I'm greeted by four young men looking menacingly at me. I could take 'em. Two have vests on and two are in plaid shirts. I think I know exactly how this band are going to sound. I was close to it, they're the second heaviest Avarice I've heard today and I was predicting that they would be the third. Avarice 2 is still the heaviest.
Avarice 14 - The last thing that the world heard from Avarice 14 was a request for a new Bass player about 16 month ago. So I'm guessing they have more troubles than just the name. The song I found was pretty decent. Grunge-tinged Metal that reminded me somewhat of Tool.
Avarice 15 - There are four posts in Danish that I can't understand. All were in 2008-2009. A very poor attempt to win the Avarice Cup. Oh, and they're also a Metal band.
"See More Results" I don't want to click this button. But I have to... I wish I hadn't. There's a 'DJ Avarice', we'll skip them.
Avarice 16 - A Swedish "Psycho Metal" band with an In Flames-esque combination of melody and technique. I can't tell if the lyrics are in English or Swedish, so my 15 year-old self is very let down with me right now.
Avarice 17 - Their Facebook URL says "OFFICIALAvarice" so that means they are the real ones. They're very new, it says in their bio that they used to be called something else. Another name change won't hurt them. No music, but it says that they too are a Metal band.
Avarice 18 - There is nothing here except for a logo consisting of the letter 'A' in Old English font. No music, can you guess which genre they are? (Metal)
Avarice 19 - There is nothing whatsoever on this page, but 2 people are fans of it. I might let these guys win just because they are trying the least.
I'm nervously clicking the "See More Results" button a few times, just in case. There's a hair salon in Tokyo that's also called Avarice, but they don't count. I've also been told that one of my friends used to be in a band called Avarice, I bet they sucked.
FINALLY, we have come to the end.
And the winner is... NOBODY! Nobody wins here. It's 2013 and there is no excuse to have the same name as at least 18 other acts.
Nah, I should pick a winner. I'll go with Avarice 16. I was genuinely impressed with their proficiency, production and tightness. You should go and check them out if that's your sort of thing. Avarice 6's lyrical dexterity meant that they were a close second though.
Well done Avarice 16, you may keep your name. Here is your trophy:
I never did find the Avarice who were playing a gig near me, for their sake I hope I never do.
Andy is a Supajam writer who has been a small-fry at numerous Commerical, BBC and Student radio stations over the last 6 years. He is also a music promoter in the South-East of the UK. He has a website where he interviews musicians with only one question, and he is currently typing in third-person. You can tweet abuse at him if you fancy letting off some steam.