Britain produced the Beatles. Britain produced the Stones. Now Britain has produced tv talent show puppets John and Edward, who can’t sing, can’t dance and whose gelled up hair makes them resemble a pair of pencil erasers. Worse, they take themselves seriously and think they’re good. They want to bring back pop, as if Girls Aloud didn’t exist, and should be booed off a pub karaoke machine. So imagine the profound shock to see they’ve made number 2 in Britain’s charts. Yes, a substantial quantity of the British population bought a song featuring them rapping Ice Ice baby. One day soon, these people are going to be allowed to vote. Perhaps it would be safer if the elections were cancelled and the USA was just allowed to delegate. The dark days of Mr Blobby are here again.