*This was selected as one of Supajam's best bits of 2013, either by being the most read, specially chosen by our staff, or nominated by our readers. Click here to see more of our highlights from 2013.*
KANYE 'GOD' WEST MAKES EINSTEIN LOOKS LIKE THE A-LEVEL SCIENCE DROP-OUT THAT HE IS. KANYE DOES NOT DESERVE SCOFFERS AND NAY-SAYERS. DO NOT MOCK KANYE. DO NOT PARODY HIM, DO NOT IMPERSONATE HIM, DO NOT QUESTION HIS WORDS UNTIL YOU HAVE FUCKED A KARDASHIAN. EVEN IF YOU SOMEHOW COMPLETE THE KARDASHIAN SET (WHICH YOU WON'T BECAUSE YOUR VIRILITY IS SUBSTANDARD) THEN YOU ARE STILL NOT IN A POSITION TO PUT DOWN THE FABLED SCRIPTURE AS TOLD BY KANYE. ATTEMPTS AT SUCH COMMENTARY ARE AS WELCOME AS A CHANGE OF WIND DURING A PISSING CONTEST.
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN JESUS 'KANYE' CHRIST TALKING TO ZANE LOWE YET THEN IT'S HERE. IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT, IT'S STILL HERE AND YOU SHOULD CONTINUE TO WATCH IT.
YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT? FUCK YOU. GO WATCH IT.
SOME DICK WEBSITE WEBSITE PUT UP SOME HIGHLIGHTS HERE AND TRIED TO MOCK KANYE 'THE DEITY' WEST. SOME GUY ON TV TRIED TO MAKE FUN OF THE MOST EDUCATED KANYE ON THE PLANET, THE VIDEO IS HERE BUT YOU SHOULDN'T WATCH IT.
THIS CAUSED DISPLEASURE WITH THE MIGHTY ONE WHO LOOKED DOWN ON THAT TURD WITH RIGHTFUL VENGEANCE AND BILE. AFTER EATING THE CHILDREN IN THE VIDEO, HE SOUGHT TO SPEAK THE ONLY TRUTH TO THE FECAL STAIN WHO BESMIRCHED HIM. SPITTING FROM ON HIGH, EMPEROR KANYE TWEETED THE FOLLOWING AT THAT ODIOUS PISSBAG.
JIMMY KIMMEL IS OUT OF LINE TO TRY AND SPOOF IN ANY WAY THE FIRST PIECE OF HONEST MEDIA IN YEARS
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
JIMMY KIMMEL, I DON'T TAKE IT AS A JOKE…. YOU DON'T HAVE SCUM BAGS HOPPING OVER FENCES TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOUR DAUGHTER
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
JIMMY KIMMEL PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES … OH NO THAT MEANS YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN TOO MUCH GOOD PUSSY IN YOUR LIFE…
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
YOU CAN'T PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES. YOUR FACE LOOKS CRAZY… IS THAT FUNNY?… OR IF I HAD A KID SAY IT WOULD IT BE FUNNY???
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
SHOULD I DO A SPOOF ABOUT YOUR FACE OR YOU FUCKING BEN AFFLECK…#NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK #ALLDISRESPECTTOJIMMYKIMMEL!!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
SARAH SILVERMAN IS A THOUSAND TIMES FUNNIER THAN YOU AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
HE THEN ASKED US TO BUILD A FIVE MILE HIGH TOWER OF GOLD IN HIS LIKENESS AND WE OBEYED BECAUSE KANYE WROTE SOME MUSIC THAT WE LIKED.
HERE'S SOME HONEST MEDIA FOR YOU KANYE:
I WANT YOU TO REDESIGN MY INTERNAL ORGANS FOR ME KANYE, AND IF A 'QUALIFIED' SURGEON DISAGREES WITH YOUR OPINION THEN HE OR SHE CAN TAKE A BIG JUMP INTO A SMALL SHARK TANK. I WILL WEAR ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES KANYE, THE CHAFING FROM LEATHER JOGGING PANTS WILL BE WORTH IT IF IT IS GREETED WITH YOUR APPROVAL KANYE. IF I HAVE 15 KIDS I WILL NAME ALL OF THEM KANYE, MY ONLY CONCERN IS WHETHER TO LETTER THEM, NUMBER THEM, OR JUST LEAVE ALL OF THEM AS 'KANYE' AND LET THEM FIGHT FOR THEIR OWN IDENTIFYING FEATURES.
MOUTH KISS ME KANYE.
This article is also available in non-Kanye AKA English.