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Music News

Monogamy wins at Coachella as everyone else catches Herpes

Monogamy wins at Coachella as everyone else catches Herpes
And now a news story that confirms everything you secretly suspected about certain festivals and their free love attitudes. HerpAlert is an app which helps concerned sick people who can’t visit a doctor diagnose STDs, and during the first week of Coachella the rate of diagnosed Herpes in that area increased 2083% and no there isn’t an extra digit in there.
 
HerpAlert normally gets an average of twelve cases a day, but Coachella caused a total of 250 on the first day. That’s some speed dating.
 
Fortunately, HerpAlert is able to issue prescriptions, so everyone should be cured. The naughty buggers.

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